Wednesday, Nov 23rd. He comes home from work at around 5:30pm. "THE START OF MY VACATION!"
At 10pm I look at him in his chair and he is swinging his foot and tapping his fingers. Not even 6 hours in and he's getting twitchy. He polished 2 pairs of boots that night. He was still in his uniform! All of this while I'm preparing Thanksgiving Dinner for the next day.
The next morning approaches and I start cooking. Thanksgiving like any other. Just me, him and the twatwaffles this year. Everything came out fantastic. My turkey actually tasted like food and not a white piece of cardboard that you had to smother in gravy.
We ate kind of late that day because, well, I wanted to eat at a normal time and not just have dinner at 2pm. By 7pm, He's ASLEEP on the couch. Now, any other day this wouldn't bother me but this is freakin Thanksgiving and there is a tree to get up! Yeah, I did that by myself.
The day after around here is put aside for a trip to the zoo. We don't do shopping because, Well, I don't want to wrestle a 70 year old woman for a freakin doily to go on my coffee table. It's not worth it to me. Me, Loser and the twatwaffles take off. We have a membership for the zoo so it's much easier through the year. A fairly uneventful vacation so far right? Just hang on to your seats, It gets better.
The next day, We went fishing. I love fishing. However, It was a bit warm that day and there were so many mosquitos that I think I caught west nile before I even cast my line. There I am, Sitting in my chair. Catching fish and woops. Gotta tinkle. In the woods. My ass caught bird flu. Made a little fire so the smoke would keep the skeeters away, ate turkey sammiches and drank a cooler full of tea. It was a fantastic day.
Sunday passed with nothing really happening. Fried chicken it is. Monday it rained and brought a cold front along so it was an inside day. Tuesday! Cold temps and more fishing! No bugs! Small fire to keep us warm and.....MAKE COFFEE IN THE WOODS! "How did you do that?" You ask? WELLLLL I'll tell you. Not having a percolater made things a little tricky but, We're resourceful and shit. First, Get a quart mason jar with the ring,Coffee filter and coffee. Like this
Then you boil your water all crafty like, Like this.
Now, Pour your water over the coffee and Bob's your uncle, COFFEE!!!! Great day of fishing in cold temps, Staying by the fire and chilling wif ma peeps.
Wednesday, we were going to go fishing again, However, Home improvements began. It became one of those In with a whisper type things. Went shopping for a few things. And spent the rest of the day talking about what we were going to do. Cleaning out the laundry room because the floor needed to be replaced and discussing paint colors for the dining room.
Thursday, Still a whisper. The boy twatwaffle was going to spend a few days with a friend so I load them all up, Take them with me, Drop him off and do the grocery shopping. Then I got home. Oh how have I angered the Gods?
I don't even get out of the truck good and Loser comes out "What's for supper?" Seeing as we were going to be busy, I was just going to throw some pizzas in the oven. He says "You may want to think of something else." WHY! "Why would I have to do that? What have you done?"
I get inside and see.......
What have I done to deserve a broken kitchen? But that's not all folks....For the simple act of going out and procuring food stuffs for your family, You also get
Laundry room? What laundry room? Now don't scoff, You still have to take a shower tonight right? And be able to use your bathroom for everyday, bathroom things? Just hold onto your seats because there's more!
Yeah, He's got to go back to work! Not only that, But while breaking up the floor in the laundry room, Guess what he hit? Need a hint? It's big, black and has lots of water running through it. Scratch that, ALL the water running through it. Yes that's right! Give yourself a plastic pony! The main water pipe! About 24 hours of no water,No stove, No washer, No dryer. The fridge was plugged up in the dining room however. Wanna beer? It's right by the napkin rings. Now, My cousin and her husband live around the corner. So her husband comes to help. They did get the floor done in the kitchen WHICH was also pulled up.
It's Friday now. We spent all day shopping for supplies and running all over town. Plywood, pipes, linoleum, all that stuff. We get home and there are people in my house. The cousins husband had come to do some more work. Which included knocking the wall down. The oldest had a date so I dropped them off and came back with the middle ones and sit there and listen to Loser fix stuff. Our date was cancelled. He's been on vacation for over a week and we still haven't done anything with just the 2 of us.
Saturday, A little running around. Not as much going on. And date night is tonight. We get there and I ordered a cosmo. Then another, Then another. 6 later and it's time to stop and pick up a few things we still need. Like wire brushes. Because, Earlier that day I had been reading my blogs and stumbled across this. YAY. However, There are a few things I needed. So I text Loser.
Me: I need lightweight spackle and a wire brush.
Him: What kind of wire brush?
Me: One like for the grill. But the lightweight is important. Make sure it's lightweight!
Him: Okie Dokie.
He gets home, Hands me the spackle and says "Do I even want to know?" No sugar, You don't. Then he says, "I have a brush." But I wanted a new one. Need a new one for a new project. Also had the kids out looking for pretty pine cones all day. My tree shall be FABULOUS!!!!
Sunday and his last day on vacation. I still can't drink vodka. I wake to the sound of a hammer, saw and cussing. With a headache. I hate headaches. But the day gets better. He's smoking ribs. *drool* My niece brought her baby out. It's becoming a Sunday thing which is fantastic. Sat and chilled and just spent some quiet time.
I woke this morning to silence. The kids were quiet, The animals were quiet. I lay there and think, "Finally, The early morning fuckery is gone." At least during work hours. However, I still have no bathroom, My kitchen still has bare plywood floors and my dining room isn't painted. Baby steps I guess.
And this is my cat. His name is Woosa.
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