It's Alive!!!!!

 Ok so, my hair. Many nights have been spent fighting the apparent living thing on top of my head. I swear I can hear the strands talking to each other in the night when they think I'm not listening.

 "Ok, so tonight, You 2 wrap around each other and go to the right. And you, Yeah you guys over there, You go to the left. Everyone else, Go up."

 I do everything I can to calm it. Gel, Flat Irons, Round Brushes and Blow Dryers. It stays put for a couple hours. But it has ADD. It does what the hell it wants. "Want me to stay down? Spend 45 minutes making me straight? WELLLLL THEN. Watch this!"

This is what I start with. You see the additude I put up with? Cheeky bitches, Every strand. I start with washing. Then towel dry. Add some gel and let that set for about 20 minutes then blow it out. I usually let that cool down until my flat iron is heated up nice and hot so I can abuse it a little more. Then I flatten the shit out of it.

It doesn't stay this way for long. It's a constant battle. I think it's just time to have my hair wrangler cut the back shorter. That seems to be my hooligan section. They never behave. I can make it stay down in the front pretty good. But the back hates me. They're plotting on me now. Thinking I can't hear them over the *tic tic tic* of the keyboard. That and the constant snore/fart combo from Loser. I really need to cut back on his mexican food.

 Yeah, most assuredly it's the back of my head that's the problem. I'll be taking care of that this weekend. I hope. Probably not. But where's the harm in hoping right?