So, Tonight was my youngest twatwaffle's little league party. Picture it, 9 boys, Ages 9-11, plus parents, at a Baseball game for our local minor league team. Complete with trophies, cake and other various activites.
Loser called on the way home from work to inform me of this and in so doing, he woke me up. I had been up all night getting all this leftover clutter from a yard sale ready (that's a story for a whole other day) so a local shelter could come and pick it up at 1pm. They never showed up, called, or emailed. Shitheads.
So after 2 hours of sleep, I get up and get ready for this fabulous night. On the drive there, the rain hits. And continues hitting. We arrive on time *gasp* and begin the festivities. The boys recieve thier trophies and a park official leads them to the dugout. They meet players and have them sign as many inanimate objects as possible. One may have offered a cup, but that hasn't been confirmed.
After that, they take the field with the big boys for the national anthem. Lucky's.
And that's when we found them. While our children were being gaurded over by seemingly responsible adults (that happen to take 90mph baseball's to the head on occasion) I got thirsty. I sent Loser to find me something and what does this fabulous hunk of man flesh bring me? TEQUILA!
Baseball, Cotton Candy & Tequila! What a game. While the rain was battling it's very own case of ADD, All the parents gathered under a tent while the brain damaged boy children stood in the rain and cheered. It was ok though. I had tequila. I cannot tell you how happy I was to see that all the parents that were worth a shit showed up. The "Bleacher Coaches" as I like to call them, Stayed home.
It was fantastic to sit and sip an adult beverage and talk to other parents about our off spring's failings on the field. (hey, They're 9,10 & 11) So liberating to speak your mind that has been unencumbered by the tequila and threatening the boys with bodily harm if they tapped those damn 18 inch bats one more *hiccup* time.
I remember growing up and thinking that authority figures such as teachers, coaches, etc... were perfect. Never letting the demon liquor touch thier lips, Never uttering a bad word in anger, Never making dirty jokes. Now that I am one of those authority figures, BOY was I wrong!
We have decided that, since the season is over for little league, And I have 3 acres of open land and a very large smoker, There will be summer softball games and cookouts because all of us are just a little unhinged.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE FIRST GAME!
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