Saturday, May 19, 2012

That's it. It's haunted

 My neighborhood was once the scene for a historical and totally badass Revolutionary War Battle*. Seriously Yall. Therefore, I have decided that my house rests on the bodies of hundreds of soldiers hastily prepared graves. And so, My house is haunted. Or the land. Or both. Who knows. IT'S THE ONLY EXPLANATION! No one has this much bad luck.

 And nothing really grows on the front half acre. I believe that's where they are buried. I like to think their friends gave them a nice funeral, if hurried because hey, it was in the middle of a war. And maybe because we haven't given them totally awesome headstones shaped like muskets, they are plaguing us with health, financial and a myriad of other problems.

 Do ghosts do that?

 I think we should train small monkeys as baristas and have them make us coffee. But Loser says I have already trained the twatwaffles to do that and that the monkey would poo in it and the twatwaffles PROBABLY wouldn't. So he won't let me train a monkey. No sense of adventure. We could have named him Chester.

 Farewell Chester, You will be greatly missed.

 I need a new tattoo. Our 16th anniversary is coming up real soon and my niece drew this totally badass picture and I want it. For a present. And he must make it so.The only hitch is he wants this gun. And I've been totally telling him no for years. Not because I'm against guns, He bought me my .38. But because it takes $5 every time you pull the trigger. Soooo he decides to tell me that I can have my tattoo if he can have his gun. And seeing that the cost of the new tattoo and getting my other one finished will be about the same as the gun. I totally walked into that one.

 I've decided that all the sleeping pills that the Dr has given me aren't working because they are actually treating my depression and/or anxiety issues. When I take them, I just kind of even out. Not get tired. I should probably mention this to him. I wonder if they're open on Saturdays.

 That's it. You can go now.

WAIT!

* Battle Of Thomas Creek. Look it up. It's totally real.

2 comments:

  1. The haunting could totally be possible. And I'd hide the ammo if that's the trade off for the tat. (Just a suggestion... lol) And you might be right about the meds, considering what you're on... eventually sleep should start coming once everything else starts balancing out, but definitely bring that up to the doctor, but make sure to let him know if the depression/anxiety seems to be easing on the medication. He might leave the medication alone for a little while longer to see if you start sleeping, BUT make sure to mention any and all herbal supplements you're taking in addition to the meds. Good luck! (I'm only a call/text away, unless I'm being poked, prodded, X-rayed, tested, scanned, etc. by my doctors, but I'll get back to you asap)

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  2. (Oh, btw, follow my blog, too.. lol)

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