It's almost that time again!!!

 Fall! The best time of the year. Cool weather, Beautiful trees, Crisp breezes that do magical things to your sheets on the clothes line. It's a fantastic time of year. Warm enough to enjoy the day and open all the windows and just cold enough at night for a jacket and maybe an extra blanket. (Or just some extra snuggly stuff *eyebrow waggle*).

 Unfortunately for me. This glorious time of year doesn't begin to be glorious until around....Thanksgiving. You kinda start to feel it around Halloween, But then you realize you are still sweating out your entire weeks intake of fluids while you are trick or treating.

 In a nut shell. I. Hate. Summer.

 I have lived in Florida all of my life and I despise summer. Don't like to sweat. Don't like to be sunburned. Don't like that uncomfortable chafing that happens to the inside of my thighs. Now let's add in some humidity. No amount of hair gel will keep that shit from frizzing. Make up? Every fall I have to search for mine because it hasn't been used in 6 months. Sure, you CAN wear it. But it melts off by 10am. That is the reason some tourists think the south is being invaded by zombies. They come down here and at lunch they see women with hair that looks like a blob of brown,blonde,red cotton candy and half of their faces melting off.

 And let's not forget about the bugs in summer. Flies. Flies love heat and humidity. They are everywhere. You can't kill them. More come. Like zombies. Ants. Ants also love heat and humidity. And they also love the spots on the counter where the freakin Twatwaffles leave those damn tops of the popcicles that they cut off. Now, There are 3 pests in Florida that you just have to learn to deal with as they come. Flies, Ants and......Palmetto bugs. Those lovely, huge, cockroaches that come in, Drink, and leave! I hate those damn things.

 Now this final bug deserves a paragraph all it's own. Skeeters. Or as we like to call them around here. 747's OF DEATH!!!!! I think I saw one carry off a puppy the other day. And now we have West Nile popping up again. And what do they give you as adivce to avoid this? Well, You have the usual, No standing water. Bug spray. Stay inside during the evenin. And my personal favorite, Wear long sleeves and pants. In Florida. In August. It's 37,462 degrees outside with 105% humidty! I'll just stay inside thanks.

 Now can someone tell me why stores stop selling summer products, ie bathing suits, pool supplies, flip flops in August? There is still a month and a half of technical summer. And another 3 months of Florida summer. Is there a reasonable reason for this? It sometimes keeps me awake thinking of this. Because not only do they put my flip flops on clearance in July, But they also put jackets, sweaters, and all winter stuff on clearance in January. When it starts getting cold here. We get a surprise freeze in February and it's a riot.

 Anyway, I seem to have gotten off course.

 I'm not so patiently waiting for Fall. I want to make my house smell like a red hot and hang my lovely fall decorations. I want to put my pumpkins out and start taking pictures of a southern fall. I want to make my wreath and hang it on my door and I want to be able to light my fabulous candles, Open my windows and hear some say "Wow this is nice" when they see everything I did to my house just for fall.

 But come October 1st, It's Halloween all the way baby!