That's it. It's haunted

 My neighborhood was once the scene for a historical and totally badass Revolutionary War Battle*. Seriously Yall. Therefore, I have decided that my house rests on the bodies of hundreds of soldiers hastily prepared graves. And so, My house is haunted. Or the land. Or both. Who knows. IT'S THE ONLY EXPLANATION! No one has this much bad luck.

 And nothing really grows on the front half acre. I believe that's where they are buried. I like to think their friends gave them a nice funeral, if hurried because hey, it was in the middle of a war. And maybe because we haven't given them totally awesome headstones shaped like muskets, they are plaguing us with health, financial and a myriad of other problems.

 Do ghosts do that?

 I think we should train small monkeys as baristas and have them make us coffee. But Loser says I have already trained the twatwaffles to do that and that the monkey would poo in it and the twatwaffles PROBABLY wouldn't. So he won't let me train a monkey. No sense of adventure. We could have named him Chester.

 Farewell Chester, You will be greatly missed.

 I need a new tattoo. Our 16th anniversary is coming up real soon and my niece drew this totally badass picture and I want it. For a present. And he must make it so.The only hitch is he wants this gun. And I've been totally telling him no for years. Not because I'm against guns, He bought me my .38. But because it takes $5 every time you pull the trigger. Soooo he decides to tell me that I can have my tattoo if he can have his gun. And seeing that the cost of the new tattoo and getting my other one finished will be about the same as the gun. I totally walked into that one.

 I've decided that all the sleeping pills that the Dr has given me aren't working because they are actually treating my depression and/or anxiety issues. When I take them, I just kind of even out. Not get tired. I should probably mention this to him. I wonder if they're open on Saturdays.

 That's it. You can go now.

WAIT!

* Battle Of Thomas Creek. Look it up. It's totally real.

Nothing to see here, Move it along.

Been sleeping a lot. I think. Maybe I'm just awake when everyone else is asleep? 

 Starting to have hope. Have a few irons in the fire. Fingers crossed and everything. Trying to find a few places to volunteer. Can't get a job. My frikin resume fits on a damn post it. Wonder if I can find a place to volunteer and get paid?
  
 Who thought of naming a condom "Trojans". Not a very good comparison really. Trojan horse breaks in, A bunch of little people jump out and cause a rukus. Anyway.

 Loser is going out of town in a week. He'll be gone for a week. Wonder what I can do/get into while he's gone. One of the sisters is supposed to come and stay with me. Pretty sure I can talk her into anything.

 Can't wait to move out of the south. Lived here all my life and wow. There are so many nasty, close-minded, bigoted, scared people here. The scary part is they're raising kids to be just like them.

 Summer is setting in early. This is my bad season. It's hot, nasty, sweaty and the house always gets a weird smell because it's too hot to open the windows and air the house out. Time to spend more money on what? CANDLES!!!!


 Thought about quitting smoking, But then I would have to change the name up there ^^^. 


 It's a bad week. Trying to find a therapist but have no idea how to do this.