*Snap Snap Click Click Click*

 I like photography. Alot. I like to just walk around and snap pictures of things I think are fabulous. If I'm taking pictures of people, I don't like them to pose. I refuse to take the shot if they're posed. I love candid pictures of people. That fantastic shot of a man staring at his wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/dog etc... when they aren't looking with nothing but pure devotion on his face. The twatwaffles in action. Whether they are terrorizing each other or simply making each other laugh uncontrollably, Those are the moments you want on your wall.

 Now let's switch to nature shots. You can get alot from just snapping pictures of something weird you see just laying around or something beautiful that you have to pull the car over and get the shot of it. I like getting shots of just about anything I can find. Some people may not find cemeteries beautiful, however.....

 One of my favorite places to go really. Years and years of history.

 Then again, There are animals and woods and just nature. Different seasons give you different enviornments. Spring gives you flowers in bloom and bright green backdrops.

 Summer gives you ripening fruit and great shots of family having fun...

 Fall gives you a plethora of photographic fodder. Too much to list really. And apparently I have no Fall or Winter photos on this big black magic box. Drat. I'll do a Fall/Winter blog later.

 Let's not forget animals. A trip to the zoo can be a photographers dream.

The point is....You don't have to have people sit in a chair or wear matching white shirts with their khakis to have a great picture of something. Just grab a camera, Point and shoot. You never know how great it will come out.

It's almost that time again!!!

 Fall! The best time of the year. Cool weather, Beautiful trees, Crisp breezes that do magical things to your sheets on the clothes line. It's a fantastic time of year. Warm enough to enjoy the day and open all the windows and just cold enough at night for a jacket and maybe an extra blanket. (Or just some extra snuggly stuff *eyebrow waggle*).

 Unfortunately for me. This glorious time of year doesn't begin to be glorious until around....Thanksgiving. You kinda start to feel it around Halloween, But then you realize you are still sweating out your entire weeks intake of fluids while you are trick or treating.

 In a nut shell. I. Hate. Summer.

 I have lived in Florida all of my life and I despise summer. Don't like to sweat. Don't like to be sunburned. Don't like that uncomfortable chafing that happens to the inside of my thighs. Now let's add in some humidity. No amount of hair gel will keep that shit from frizzing. Make up? Every fall I have to search for mine because it hasn't been used in 6 months. Sure, you CAN wear it. But it melts off by 10am. That is the reason some tourists think the south is being invaded by zombies. They come down here and at lunch they see women with hair that looks like a blob of brown,blonde,red cotton candy and half of their faces melting off.

 And let's not forget about the bugs in summer. Flies. Flies love heat and humidity. They are everywhere. You can't kill them. More come. Like zombies. Ants. Ants also love heat and humidity. And they also love the spots on the counter where the freakin Twatwaffles leave those damn tops of the popcicles that they cut off. Now, There are 3 pests in Florida that you just have to learn to deal with as they come. Flies, Ants and......Palmetto bugs. Those lovely, huge, cockroaches that come in, Drink, and leave! I hate those damn things.

 Now this final bug deserves a paragraph all it's own. Skeeters. Or as we like to call them around here. 747's OF DEATH!!!!! I think I saw one carry off a puppy the other day. And now we have West Nile popping up again. And what do they give you as adivce to avoid this? Well, You have the usual, No standing water. Bug spray. Stay inside during the evenin. And my personal favorite, Wear long sleeves and pants. In Florida. In August. It's 37,462 degrees outside with 105% humidty! I'll just stay inside thanks.

 Now can someone tell me why stores stop selling summer products, ie bathing suits, pool supplies, flip flops in August? There is still a month and a half of technical summer. And another 3 months of Florida summer. Is there a reasonable reason for this? It sometimes keeps me awake thinking of this. Because not only do they put my flip flops on clearance in July, But they also put jackets, sweaters, and all winter stuff on clearance in January. When it starts getting cold here. We get a surprise freeze in February and it's a riot.

 Anyway, I seem to have gotten off course.

 I'm not so patiently waiting for Fall. I want to make my house smell like a red hot and hang my lovely fall decorations. I want to put my pumpkins out and start taking pictures of a southern fall. I want to make my wreath and hang it on my door and I want to be able to light my fabulous candles, Open my windows and hear some say "Wow this is nice" when they see everything I did to my house just for fall.

 But come October 1st, It's Halloween all the way baby!

It's Over

  I know I'm late on this. But I have needed a little while to deal with my own sadness and stuff. I'm not good at dealing with change. People taken from me. It hurts. I don't care for it. After so long of being together, It was just too painful to address at the time he left.
Now. I think I'm starting to deal with the loss.

 Harry Potter. A love afair that interfered with Loser and the Twatwaffles at times. (Mom's reading darlin, Have a bowl of cereal.) They knew when I got a new book that I wasn't to be talked to if that book was open. I have been known to throw things when interupted. I love all of the books. I love all of the movies. Yes I cried when characters died. Yes I celebrated when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was defeated once more. Yes I got a little misty eyed when Harry and Ginny finally realized they needed each other.

 My fabulous housemates can't seem to grasp my fascination with Harry. I don't care if they get it. Reading the books gives me a chance to run away to a magical world and be there instead of here. If only in my mind. The movies are another way for me to relax.

 So when Loser said "We're going to see HP7 pt 2" I was fantastically excited. I'm not able to go to midnight showings or the day it comes out. I see them when I find time to go see them. And we saw it in 3D. It was wonderfully done. And I cried. Quite a few times. Loser went with me and saw it, But it's really not his thing. The whole time he's saying "You're going to have to explain this to me." 
  
 But then again. Half of the time when we go see a new one, I'm sighing and sucking my teeth over something they left out of the movie. I couldn't believe they left out most of the wedding, And Harry's birthday party. That was disappointing. 

 But that's ok. I plan on making a pilgrimage to Universal soon. Well, Probably not soon. I want to go after the new has worn off so I can spend 3 days there and not fight people to see the smallest attraction and be pushed along. I hate that. Me and Loser and maybe the kids (They don't like Harry as much as I do. Breaks my heart) 3-4 days, and all the Butterbeer I can drink. Oh I can't wait. 

                                         

                         *for those of you who don't know what this picture is, YOU SHOULDA READ  THE    BOOK!*

Coupons & Addiction

 Some of you may remember another post about my so-called-addiction. If not,
http://smokindrinkinmomma.blogspot.com/2011/06/addicted-of-course-not.html

 I realized last night that I had no, And I mean NO candles in this house. Not even a tea light. How could I have let myself run out of candles? I'm sure this is the first sign of the Zombie Apocalypse. So, I'll be boarding up the house after this. I mentioned this to Loser this morning and his reaction was "Oh that's a shame". No shock in his voice at all. We can't have that.

 We decided to take the twatwaffles to dinner and low and behold, There was a Bed Bath & Beyond right across the street. (ok so yeah, I knew it was there and maybe I DID plant the idea of 5 guys for supper but hey, Ya gotta do what you gotta do).

I very simply and somewhat shyly asked, "Hey, You think we could stop and see if they have any candles on sale when we're done? Ya know, Since we're right here and all?" Oh my. After 15 years of marriage, He still falls for it. Get the soul sucking leeches in the truck and he sighs and says "Where is this place?" I just kinda gave a general direction. Still playing the "You don't have to do this if you don't want to" game. And then we were there.

 That place is my Home Depot. Straight to the back and there was a choir of angels singing from above. There was every scent imaginable. And then, I looked at the clearance section. Cuz, That's how I roll. ALWAYS go there first. And I'm gunna tell ya why. What's my favorite scent? Garden Sweetpea. It smells clean and fabulous. What's another favorite? CINNAMON! Not that sugary cinnamon crap. But the cinnamon that makes the kids say "It smells like a red hot in here". AND what did I find on the clearance shelves? Glad you asked.

Is this a sign or what? This is the Gods demanding me to buy candles. As many as I can carry.Or make the kids carry. These fantastic, 3 wick candles are huge. And regular price is $19.99. marked down to $9.99. The tall one? Regular $24.99. Marked down to? $14.99.

Now there is something Loser didn't know. If you read the post up there^^^, You'll know that even though I love torturing him, I do so with as little money spent as possible. Oh Yes. Not only was I shopping from the clearance shelf, I HAD COUPONS! $10

.00 off $25.00 or more. 2 of them.

So what did I do? 2 of the 3 wick candles and this

 Mmmmmm, Cinnamon. Made the total about $38.00. For 3 candles. With my coupon? $28.00. Now that was the first transaction. I couldn't just get $10.00 off now could I?

 Next was this. The tall tumbler, The last 3 wick, and these. Now yes, I know I reached the $25.00 mark with just the 2 big candles, But these are clean smells. And I really wanted them. They were a whopping $.99. "I have another coupon please and thanks."
$31.00 turns into $21.00.

 I'm not sure Loser realized how much money I just saved him. Yes I spent $50 on candles. But I spent $50 on candles that are fantastic and last a LONG time. And I'm saving the cinnamon ones for fall. I got home and added up what I would have spent if they weren't on sale and I didn't have coupons.

 I bought $100.00 in candles for $49.00. Because I make him buy me candles and I manipulate him (he likes it) but I do it with compassion.

 So, He bought me candles today. Lots of big, fantastic, fabulous smelling candles that were on sale. I guess I can't ask for anymore for another month or so. That's ok though. I got coupons.

Parenting, Sometimes it's fun.

 I like to think I'm an ok mom. I don't like to harp on the kids on things they should be doing. Because I shouldn't have to tell them twice. As they are here. At the house. All day. Every day, There are certain responsibilities that they are assigned. I don't live here by myself, Therefore I shouldn't clean it by myself. And by golly, How are they going to keep their houses & clothes clean if they don't learn how to do it?

 Rewind to this past weekend. I had asked them, very nicely I might add, To pick up the living room and to wash the dishes. And anyone who's grown up in a half way normal, Non spoiling, Kids don't have chores house knows that, "Wash the dishes" means, Do the dishes, clean and/or bleach the counter, sweep the floors etc.... In short, Do the dishes = CLEAN THE KITCHEN! How this has escaped their notice is beyond me.

 The living room apparently is another room that baffles them. Not my fault. I've taught them how to do it. They just choose not to.

 So Saturday night, My "mom" switch flipped. I turned to Loser and said, "I had planned on making Sunday Supper tomorrow, But now I'm not cooking a damned thing." I was going to fry chicken, smashed taters, green beans, biscuits and fried okra. Not this momma. He decided to begin the "Whoa Whoa Whoa, What did I do?" And I politely told him that if I am punished right along with the kids by him, Well then, How's this taste buddy?

 I do believe he thought I was bluffing.

 However, When he had to drive the kids to Burger King for supper. I think they got the message. I gave them Monday to redeem their poor lecherous souls. Poor, clueless twatwaffles.

 My oldest is the one that takes up the slack for the other 2 just so she doesn't have to listen to me. I gave her the day off. Gave the younger 2 their perspective jobs.

 #1. The living room. I want the carpet vacummed (even though it's ugly and stained, It can still be clean). I want under the couches cleaned. Cushions off the couches and vacummed. Tables cleaned and waxed. TV cleaned. Covers off dog beds and washed. Candles lit and on tables.

 #2. The dining room. Table cleaned. Chairs pulled out and the carpet vacummed. Floor swept where there is no carpet.

 #3. The bathroom. Tub scrubbed (inside and out). Toilet scrubbed. Sink scrubbed. Trash taken out. Floor swept. Carpets taken out.

 #4. The kitchen! Dishes done. Counters sterilized. Drain tray bleached Bleach is the most fantastic thing ever). Microwave cleaned (inside and out). Floor cleaned. Mat in front of the sink taken out and cleaned. Stove cleaned. Trash taken out and the can sprayed.

 I do believe I am hated now. But I think the message is sinking in. Especially when I am walking through the house and pointing out tiny pieces of paper they have missed on the floor. Or stains on the counter they missed. Dirty clothes laying on the floor of the laundry room (which by the way is an extension of the kitchen).

 By noon, They were seething, Irritated little blobs. I was blissfully happy.

 Today is going to be great. And if they don't get the hint before the weekend, It's dollar menu with Dad on Sunday.

It's all falling apart!

 Ok. Me and Loser have been homeowners for the past 14 years. We are in our early 30's and are halfway through our mortgage.Score! However. A 14 year old, 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom doublewide (we bought 3 acres of land and we couldn't afford to buy a house) is falling to pieces a little at a time. Doors fall off hinges. Floors get a little spongy from 14 years of fabulous Florida humidity and bathtubs and washing machines overflowing. Siding starts to look a little more worn every year. Holes in the sheetrock. And what the hell is the problem with skirting? That crap never lasts.

 I sit in my living room and look around. I see boxes of crap that we took out of storage because I hated paying that much money to rude, nasty people every month. The floor we put down 10 years ago is coming up so there are bare patches everywhere. The kids' bedroom doors are gone from years of slamming and abuse. The kids' bathroom mirror was broken a while back. The linoleum in the kitchen is stained from crap falling on it and the washing machine overflowing quite a few times. (we have terrible luck with appliances)

 I sit and think *It's a 14 year old double wide. They weren't meant to last forever* However, It still burns my ass that it looks crappy. Soon we are building a shed to store all the stuff we had in storage. We are planning on recarpeting the living room and dining room because I hate hardwood. I like to be barefoot and hate walking on dirt. I would be sweeping and swiffering all day long. Running a vacuum around once a day seems much better. And it's warmer in the winter. Suck it up.

 I'm repainting both rooms and hopefully the kitchen. I have NEW furniture. The very first set of new furniture I have ever had. I was always leary of it with the kids. I have tablezilla in my dining room. It's big, wooden and seats 10 people. I LOVE this table.

 The yard is another ball of grass altogether. Not much grows in the front half of the yard. The back part, By the house has fantastic, thick, green grass. I just can't for the life of me think of anything to do with it. Wait. I know JUST what I want to do with it.

 And herein lies the main problem. All this crap costs mucho monies. So until I get word that the rich uncle I didn't know about kicks it and leaves me all his money or I come up with the next big internet scam, I'll just sit on my loverly new couch, Look at my horrible floor, Glare at the boxes that seem to mock me even more every day of my life and weep into my very strong alocoholic drink.

 Very strong.

 And by the way, It may be old, falling apart and ugly But IT'S CLEAN DAMNIT!

Love the scary stuff.

 I love horror movies. Alot. Like, ALOT alot. Zombies, Vampires, Demons rampaging the earth, Supernatural scariness, Mindbending thirllers that make you scratch your head at the end of the movie and think "What did I watch? I have to watch that again". I love it.
I love sitting in the dark with ear buds and no one around (Loser doesn't like them so much) and have the crap scared out of me. I yearn for that uncomfortable feeling that good horror movies give you.

 I have been watching them since I was about 4. I can rememnber sitting on the couch with my mom watching "The Howling" and loving every minute of it. I remember some movie that had a beach and something lived under the sand and pulled people under. I LOVED IT! I was never into the killer animal movies like Jaws. That wasn't scary to me. Stupid people swimming in a sharks refrigerator. What did they expect?

 Now I have been watching horror movies for around 25+ years. It takes alot to scare me anymore. There are 2 movies that scare me. Well, not scare me but have things in it that scare me.


#1. The Exorcist. Not the whole movie. There is a creepy "Holy Crap" vibe to it. But WTF IS UP WITH THIS?!

 I mean seriously. Was this necessary? Were they just trying to make me pee my pants and have a mini heart attack? And they can't just show it. They have to be all sneaky about it. "Oh it's just a dark room and she's alone. HOLY S*#T WHAT WAS THAT?" Not fair.

#2. Poltergiest Part 2. Now I love the first one. And don't get me wrong. It scared the crap out of me. The tree freaked me out. And the pool in the rain! (which were all actual human skeletons by the way). But part 2 had an especially delicious bit of evil.

What the hell were they thinking?! This still makes me want to beat the crap out of something every time I see it. And OH Loser doesn't like horror movies but he simply can't pass up a chance to come up behind me and start his "Hello little girl" crap. He knows it makes me freak. This man is so freakishly scary to me it makes me a bit unstable.

Now, My loverly twatwaffles are being indoctrinated into my very own little "Horror Club". They love the scary as much as I do. So when I saw that "Insidious" was coming to DVD, WELL THEN, We have to see that. So I get it. I decide to watch it (as I do all movies before the kids watch them) Everyone in the house was asleep. I popped in my ear buds,  Turned out all the lights, popped it into my computer and hit play.

Holy Mother Of All Things Holy!

I had to stop it 3 times. I washed dishes, Did laundry, Made myself a cup of coffee. It has been years since I enjoyed being that scared. It may have been somewhat enviornmental but Wow. If you like scary movies, Watch it. In the dark, With the volume loud. I won't give any spoilers but shazam.

I rarely read reviews because, Hey, Everyone's taste is different. But I read some after I watched this fabulous piece of film and everyone seems to agree. You will need a valuim at some point in this movie.

SO , Hit the redbox, Buy it, Borrow it, Whatever you have to do. But watch this movie.